I read yesterday that the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance (AQA) exam board had been handing out some new “qualifications” to teenagers.
These certificates included one for making a cup of tea, one for catching a bus and one for washing your hands.
I don’t think I need to say much more about it, other than I cannot believe taxpayers’ money is being allocated to such patronising and pointless gimmicks. How can any of these everyday tasks warrant a qualification? What I want to know is where’s the one for bunking off school, or riding the local bike round the back of the bike sheds?
When will this madness end?


Tsk… You’ve even taken to stealing my stories now!
I was first!